3 Putt King

I'm the 3 putt king, I'm the 3 putt king
In Regulation I'll hit the green
But unless I knock it close
I'm the 3 putt king


Well I've been working on my sand wedge and it's paid off
But my putting stroke is still a little off
I tried reading books and saw a shrink
I set a limit that I could drink
I used a belly putter 'til I turned pink
But no matter what my putts won't sink

I'm the 3 putt king, I'm the 3 putt king
In Regulation I'll hit the green
But unless I knock it close
I'm the 3 putt king


Well I've been killing my driver and it's staying in bounds
It's been a year since I knocked a windshield out
But it's hard to make birdies
And have a good round
When none of your putts
Are going down

I'm the 3 putt king, I'm the 3 putt king
In Regulation I'll hit the green
But unless I knock it close
I'm the 3 putt king


I used to think that I could start scoring low
But now making par is my main goal
Missing putts start to take their toll
And hurt me badly deep down in my soul

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI

 

A-Man playing as a D-Man


He’s an A-Man, playing as a D-Man
And there’s 440 Dollars riding on each side
And as the round unfolds, he’ll be cuttin’ every hole
There’s gonna be a brawl after the Dog Fight


He rolled in from out of town
Wanted to put some money down
And told the Pro he just got kicked off the tour
The Pro pulled him to the side
Said ‘let's play in the Dog Fight’
And I’ll pick you late and then we’ll win both sides for sure


He’s an A-Man, playing as a D-Man
And there’s 440 Dollars riding on each side
And as the round unfolds, he’ll be cuttin’ every hole
There’s gonna be a brawl after the Dog Fight


The field was asking who he was
about his yankee talk and fancy clubs
but sure enough the pick went just as planned
It was the normal draw
They had almost picked them all
When the Pro said ‘I’ll take him as my D-Man’


-chorus

13 under with six to go
Headed to the birdie hole
Count the money then hit the road
Before the losers catch on

If you’re an A-Man don’t play as a D-Man
‘Cause all of us C-men might kick your

‘Ask somebody down at Quaker Meadows in Morganton, North Carolina if you don't know’

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI

Bogey Train

I’m stuck on the Bogey train, I’m stuck on the Bogey train
I can’t make it to Parville to save my life
I need a reservation for the birdie station
When you get there it feels like paradise


Fried Egg Lies
Deep Rough Times
Steppin’ In my line
Bogey Every time


Don’t aim at trouble unless you Tee it high
And if you’re seeing double choose the one on the right


I’m stuck on the Bogey train, I’m stuck on the Bogey train
I can’t make it to Parville to save my life
I need a reservation for the birdie station
When you get there it feels like paradise


Mighty Slice
The monkey in the wood’s not being nice
Trees win every time
And they’re always directly in my line


Gypsy woman stole my golf game and scorned me with her eyes
I tried playing with a new name but the curse stilled applied

When you’re in the deep stuff be sure to grip it tight
if they don’t let you play through be prepared for a fight

I’m stuck on the Bogey train, I’m stuck on the Bogey train
I can’t make it to Parville to save my life
I need a reservation for the birdie station
When you get there it feels like paradise

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI

 

Triple Bogey with 17 Holes to Play


Driving to the course everything's divine
The rain clouds are parting the sun begins to shine
Feeling almost heavenly deep down in my bones
I’ve been practicing all summer today’s the day I’m going low


Walked into the pro-shop gave my partner a high five
Stepped up on the first tee and I hit the perfect drive
And like a dream my second shot sat on the perfect lie
I pulled out my 4 iron and let that sucker fly


Triple Bogey with 17 holes to play
After I had prayed all night that I’d break 80 today
I know I can make it up, I know that my score’s not dead
But that first hole three put is messing with my head

That first hole three put is messing with my head


I ended up beside the green just above the pin
Looking down on the hole, planning to chip that sucker in
But wouldn’t you know I chunked it three feet to the right
That was something that I’ll replay in my head all day and all night


I finally hit the dance floor, I was lying four
Lining up a downhill putt
For a bogey, still a decent score
But wouldn't you know I killed it ran 10 feet past
I was putting for double uphill not any closer than my last


And I missed the putt
Only the first hole and I'm already gonna show my butt
I screamed so loud the ranger had to hear
The round for me was over
It was time to start drinking beer

The round for me was over
It was time to start drinking beer


Triple Bogey with 17 holes to play
After I had prayed all night that I’d break 80 today
I know I can make it up, I know I’m not yet dead
But that first hole three put is messing with my head

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI

 

I’ll write a song about your golf course (If you let me play for free)

Well I’m a travelin’ musician I’m always on the road
I’m always playing music I’m always staying broke
But I love to swing a golf club and I love to write a song
I think I’ve finally found a way to make the two pay off


I’ll write a song about your golf course
If you let me play for free
You’ll be immortalized forever
And I can finally hit the links
It’ll do wonders for your business
When the whole world hears my song
Just ask Four Winds golf club in Illinois
I’ll play a quick 18 and then I’m gone


Well I pick a lot of guitar and I play a lot of rounds
When I’m home in North Carolina in my chilly mountain town
But I spend so much time on the road and playing isn’t cheap
I’m don't even have enough for twilight rates
but one thing I can do is sing

I’ll write a song about your golf course
If you let me play for free
You’ll be immortalized forever
And I can finally hit the links
It’ll do wonders for your business
When the whole world hears my song
Just ask Crowne Plaza in Asheville
I’ll play a quick 18 and then I’m gone


So when Pinehurst or Kiawah calls
And want me to write them song
I’ll grab my golf bag and my old Gibson guitar
But public courses need love too
They struggle just like me and you
Maybe a silly tune would be their best start

I’ll write a song about your golf course
If you let me play for free
You’ll be immortalized forever
And I can finally hit the links
It’ll do wonders for your business
When the whole world hears my song
Just ask Quaker Meadows and Silver Creek
Mimosa Hills but not yet Pebble Beach
Your golf course could be here too just for greens fees
I’ll play a quick 18 and then I’m gone

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI

 

Early Tee Time

Why did I say I’d play at this Early Tee Time
On Sunday Morning, after Saturday night
Last night I stayed up late drinking beer and wine
Now l I’ve paid weekend rates at 8:35


I woke up with the spins
In the chair in the den
To my golfin’ buddy banging on the door
He said ‘we’re gonna be late’
‘it’s ten after 8’
‘grab your pants they’re on the kitchen floor’

Why did I say I’d play at this Early Tee Time
On Sunday Morning, after Saturday night
Last night I stayed up late drinking beer and wine
Now l I’ve paid weekend rates at 8:35


They bought me a sprite in the Pro Shop
But the cold sweats just wouldn’t stop
And now their loading my bag onto the cart
Then they hit me with the weekend rate
I put my first drive in the lake
The longest round of my life is about to start


‘oh lord take me back to my bed
stop this throbbing in my head
why oh why did I make those side bets
one more dumb thing today I’m gonna regret

Why did I say I’d play at this Early Tee Time
On Sunday Morning, after Saturday night
Last night I stayed up late drinking beer and wine
Now l I’ve paid weekend rates at 8:35

 

© Mealtime Brown Publishing BMI